Love means hiding the M&Ms

I am a chocolate addict. I have zero will power to resist it, which means that if there is chocolate in the house, I will eat it until it’s gone. But if there’s no chocolate in the house, I’m miserable.

There is only one reasonable means of maintaining a steady chocolate supply without having me balloon up to the shape of an M&M: my wife must hide the chocolate and dole it out.

She has hidey holes around the house, but most of them are in the kitchen. I know this because when I ask for chocolate, she shushes me out of the kitchen and slams the door, after which I hear rustling sounds. Then she opens the door and lo, chocolate has appeared!

Our grocery store recently had a big sale on M&Ms, so we bought two giant packages. This has allowed my wife to unleash her creative side while handing out chocolate doses. The other day, when she let me back into the kitchen after rustling around, this is what I found:

M M message

I had a great laugh over it, and actually hesitated to destroy the message. For about two seconds.

Lest this post get too sappy, I should add that the next day, when I wouldn’t let her put her cold hands on my warm stomach, she spelled out a different message. In large letters atop my laptop, she wrote “BRAT.”

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About Fletcher DeLancey

Socialist heathen and Mac-using author of the Chronicles of Alsea, who enjoys pondering science, politics, well-honed satire (though sarcastic humor can work, too) and all things geeky.
This entry was posted in humor, life. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Love means hiding the M&Ms

  1. I’m addicted to M&Ms – but only the ones with the peanuts in them. And as nice as a love message is – two seconds are around the time I would take to admire the message and then go down the same path you walked 😉

    • Do not forget the next message — BRAT — which only lasted 0.1 seconds before being destroyed. Let me assure you that it was much harder to write and required more M&M units.

    • oregon expat says:

      Oh dear. Peanuts are a terrible thing to put in M&Ms… 😉

      • Alma says:

        Hang on, there are M&Ms without peanuts? Where? I want them!
        In Sweden we have other colored chocolate lentils called Nonstops. They’re bigger but flatter than M&Ms, and I love them. When I was a kid, me and my sisters (no brother yet…) used to get one each of each color as “Saturday candy”. Heh, six chocolate lentils per week. Try to live on that, Fletcher! 😛

        • oregon expat says:

          “Chocolate lentils,” LOL! I am so going to call them that from now on. That’s awesome. And yes, there are M&Ms without peanuts, which is of course the only way to eat them.

          As for six chocolate lentils per week — that’s starvation level. How were you supposed to survive on that??

          • Alma says:

            We were young and knew of no better life. 😉
            And, “chocolate lentils”, is that not a thing? Well, I guess it is now!

  2. Cathy White says:

    Purely as an academic exercise, I was trying to work out if the colour combinations had any relevance lol.

  3. Alma says:

    This is adorable!

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