It actually exists, and for only $902.48 (on discount!) you can own it too.
It’s available at — where else — Amazon.com, where the Product Description says:
This giant Swiss Army knife from Wenger is designed with an incredible 87 implements that perform 141 functions, making it the only tool you’ll need to get any job done. Whether in your pack or on display, the Giant Knife is sure to be a conversation starter.
It is nearly 12 inches long (30.5 cm) and weighs 7.2 pounds (3.3 kg). Click the link above not just to marvel at the list of all 87 implements, but also to read the frequently hilarious reviews. My personal favorite:
Don’t Make the Same Mistake I Made
While in total awe of this amazing device I unintentionally attempted to pass a TSA check point with the Wenger in my luggage. Well lets just put it this way, the US Supreme Court just ruled that I’m the only guy in the country which no longer has ANY protections under the constitution. I’m writing this review on toilet paper from my cell at Guantanamo and will have to do unspeakable things to get this review carried back to the states and posted on Amazon.