In the “so insane you couldn’t make this shit up” reality show that is the Republican primaries, this week alone has seen Perry abandon ship (shortly after saying he was a fighter who would never give up because America needed him), Santorum retroactively win the Iowa caucuses (and complain about not getting a concession speech from Romney), Romney declare that “maybe” he’d release his tax returns in April (wink wink nod nod), and Gingrich launch a full-court attack on a debate moderator for daring to bring up his second ex-wife’s recent interview, in which she noted that when Gingrich asked her for an “open marriage,” he’d already been screwing around with his soon-to-be third wife for quite some time.
Fortunately, there is an alternative to the remaining field of Republican candidates: Canada.
At last! A candidate I can truly support! Where do I sign up?